Emotional abusers are the worst type of person that you can ever hope to meet.
As your tenure in an emotionally abusive relationship progresses, you will notice that three things stand out above all others in the thought processes of your abuser.
These three things seem to indicate that your abuser is in a mental conflict with themselves, and those of us who have suffered at their hands are just victims of their own deficiencies.
Just ensure that the abuse doesn’t carry on for longer than necessary, or else you will have to shoulder equal responsibility for what is happening in your relationship.
I could argue that an emotional abuser suffers from some or other personality disorder. This is not to say that all personality disorders will lead to emotional abuse, but I bet that if we look at the vast majority of abusers, there is definitely something mentally amiss with them.
The top three characteristics of emotional abusers, in my mind, are thus:
1. Always laying the blame on others
What I hate to this day is that everything that my ex did was always the fault of someone or something else. She was well aware of the difference between right and wrong but always chose to go down the path of wrong.
She had no compunction for anyone or anything for that matter…
Her mantra in life seemed to be “Who can I blame for my problems…give me a second, I’ll find someone”
Someone always had to take responsibility for her behavior, just not her.
They are always the victim; nothing is ever their fault.
2. As they learn more about you, they expect to be rewarded to keep them in check.
It is not so much about secrets that you may have, it is more about what makes you tick.
If you are close to your family or have a business, it is your family or business partners that may be threatened.
Be sure of one thing though; emotional abusers will learn about as much about you as they can and then use that knowledge against you to get what they want out of the relationship.
Deep down, I always knew that her threats were all hot air, but I chose to err on the side of safety.
All emotional abusers will be charming at the outset, but everything is about them.
Any abuser thrives on the fact that you are always on edge around them; they want you under their control at all times.
Remember that you are nothing to an abuser, but a supply of whatever they want out of the relationship. They are with you not because they love you, but because they are satisfying some crazy need within themselves.
These three characteristics of emotional abusers were most dominant in my ex.
When added to some of those mentioned before, they make up a lethal cocktail that will eventually destroy your life if you allow it to do so.