While researching my first book, I was surprised at the lack of information on emotional abuse from a male perspective. Everything written seemed to come from female emotional abuse victims.
This made me think ‘Why’?
Why do men never write about their experiences in emotionally abusive relationships?
Why do we think ‘she’s having a bad day’, no matter how long the behavior lasts?
There can be only one plausible answer to this question – men are reluctant to report emotional abuse to the authorities.
We tend to keep this type of abuse internalized as it won’t come across as being ‘manly’ if it gets out your partner ‘is just emotionally abusing you’.
This lack of reporting to the authorities, convinces me the emotional abuse of men is much more prevalent than is believed.
To understand this seeming dis-interest in the emotional abuse of men, we need to look at why men are not reporting this type of abuse.
One word… Stereotypes.
The old stronger-weaker sex argument comes to mind.
We grew up believing the only form of abuse is physical, and any other form of abuse is not to be taken notice of.
Men would rather suck up the abuse for years than admit their partners ‘have-got-the-better-of-them’.
Or maybe, we just don’t understand what is going on.
Or could it be our mindset?
Is it when we look at emotional abuse from the outside, we don’t see it as being serious, and when it affects us directly, we have to continue with the mindset else we would be lying to ourselves.
We would come off as being hypocritical if we have spoken to friends about leaving an abusive relationship when we are unable to do so ourselves.
Come on men – this is more serious than we think. Let’s get our voices heard and stop this nonsense of thinking we may be seen as weak for reporting this issue to the authorities.