Emotional abuse over a protracted period of time has a debilitating effect on your psyche.
I struggled for many years at the receiving end of an emotional abuser, but now as I look back there are certain things that I experienced, that made me smile, and even laugh out loud.
Can you see the funny side of emotional abuse after-the-fact?
These are either words or actions that my abuser used to keep me beholden to her for five years.
The funniest thing when I asked her if she ever listened to what was coming out of her mouth, she would always ask me to repeat back to her what she had said.
Trying to convince me she was unaware of her words and actions, but I know now, that everything she said and did was part of the ‘masterplan’.
The five below are the ones that were used regularly.
‘I love you’
Ha ha ha. This must be the most obvious one to all of us that have been in an emotionally abusive relationship. How many times did you hear this only to be treated like dirt the very next moment?
Hearing the ‘I love you’, for some stupid reason, made me believe I was still in a relationship with the woman I fell in love with, not this crazy being emotionally abusing me.
I love you and sorry were the two most important words in her vocabulary.
She would bring me a little gift and say ‘Sorry about my behavior yesterday, it won’t happen again’
Another ‘Yeah right, like I haven’t heard that before’ moment.
The size of the gift would be determined by how vocal my description of her behavior was.
This would be an almost daily routine when I pointed out to her that her behavior was not acceptable.
It would be all lovey-dovey for a day or two and then it was back to the norm.
Walking like a catwalk-model, swinging those hips, when we went out on special occasions.
She’d walk normally as she did at home on other occasions.
She was and still is a beautiful woman, but this used to make me smile uncontrollably.
I even used to tell her to ‘shake those hips’. She would just look at me in her normal dismissive manner and carry on.
I don’t even think she was aware that she was doing this.
Never blinked when I spoke to her
This actually became a little scary after a while.
When you speak to someone for a few minutes and are able to notice that they never blink, it sends a shiver down your spine.
It conjures up scary ideas in your mind – what can a person who never blinks be thinking of? Or thinking of doing to the person they are talking to.
Always had to tell her to act her age.
The tantrums had me believing I was involved with a teenager, not a grown woman. They would be thrown every single time we got into a discussion and sometimes it really did seem like I was talking to a five-year-old that didn’t get her way.
Don’t leave me out of this equation though.
I’m sure if you speak to her she will tell you as many strange or funny things I said to her over the years. I can’t remember them now, as, at the time, I was probably very sincere in what I was saying to her.
Emotional abuse is something horrible to experience, but I am finding it helpful to also look at the funnier things that were said and done.
Even if this is in hindsight.