I was in a relationship with someone diagnosed as Bipolar I for a period of five years.
Doing research on the subject in the past year or so, I have come to the conclusion that she may have been misdiagnosed.
It seems that Borderline Personality Disorder may be more fitting to her pattern of behavior.
This type of person is continually afraid of being abandoned and as such are always attempting to control their partners behavior through manipulation and coercion.
I am by no means an expert in either of these disorders, but I am writing from the perspective of someone who has first-hand experience.
I would define it in this manner; someone afflicted with Bipolar Disorder demonstrates behavior that has more of an impact on themselves than on others, whereas Borderline Personality
Disorder sufferers tend to attempt to change the behavior of others toward themselves.
I say more impact on themselves for Bipolar Disorder sufferers as long as their partner is not co-dependent and accepts responsibility for the consequences of their actions.
The best example of her manipulation was changing her behavior to what she knew I wanted to see for a short period of time just to suck me back into the relationship. As to how many times this happened over the years, I can’t tell you…
Looking back, I am amazed at how many times she told me that she was not aware of how she was behaving due to the Bipolar Disorder. At that time I knew nothing about Bipolar, and just accepted what she was saying.
I was too busy trying to adjust to her behavior to notice that I was being emotionally abused by someone who knew exactly what they were doing.
The major reason that we parted ways was her pathological lying; and every single lie she told was to benefit her; whether she lied to me or others she came into contact with.
With these lies, she attempted to convince me that I did not remember certain things or conversations correctly; and this always ended up in her favor. I have learned subsequently that this is called Gaslighting.
If you are on the receiving end of emotional abuse from someone who suffers from a mental disorder, remember that you need to look after your own well-being first. If you can’t cope, get out!
Bipolar emotional abuse is not a thing…
No mental disorder is allowed to be used as justification of the emotional abuse of someone else; it just negates the severity of the disorder…
An emotional abuser needs to understand that they have a problem, and need to seek professional help, whether they are afflicted with a mental disorder or not.