One thing that we must never forget, is that an emotional abuser is with you for what they can get from you, not because they love you. To them, a relationship is a game, and the payoff is having you there with them. The longer you stick around, the longer their game with your life is going to continue.
Leaving an emotional abuser is one of the most difficult things to do if you have co-dependency issues. The most important thing to do is change your mindset.
You need to go from having your abuser’s well-being at heart, to not taking notice of them any longer, and putting yourself first.
Once you have separated, ignore that person who put you through so much heartache and doubt. Do not allow them to worm themselves back into your life; no matter how sincere their apologies will seem.
It is difficult to ignore or discard someone that you loved so deeply, but it is truly your only viable option. I think that I was “hooked” on her for a long time; she knows this, and will try and hook me again.
As time passes and you have less to do with this person, you will feel much better about yourself. You may even find yourself looking back on your relationship and what you come to realize may shock you. I just recently realized that I was targeted and emotionally abused from the first day that I met my ex.
Your abuser on the other hand is going to get angrier as they realize that you have had enough of their nonsense. I have been threatened numerous times with physical violence if I don’t capitulate to her demands.
Don’t threaten your abusers in return, set boundaries for yourself.
An emotional abuser thrives on getting a reaction out of you, and thus by getting upset with them your are just being drawn back into their little game.
My biggest mistake was caring what would happen to my ex once we had split up. Don’t make this same mistake. Stop caring for your abusers; they never felt anything for you the whole time that they were meting out the abuse.
Once you are finally rid of your abuser, start thinking about the personality traits that are foreign to them such as honesty and the lack of commitment to a relationship.
When the time is right, look for someone who actually exhibits these characteristics.