Emotional abuse has a debilitating effect on a person long after you walk away from a relationship.
The effects linger for years, and if you are not careful, you are going to create a cocoon around your life and isolate yourself from all the good things that you deserve.
I was just looking through the list of articles that have been published on this blog and I noticed a glaring omission…
I haven’t really mentioned what I am going through now, many years after I separated from my ex.
Walking away from emotional abuse is unlike anything else you would have experienced in a relationship.
There are many after-effects of emotional abuse and I’d like to go over a few of them…
This is the obvious side-effect of having been in a toxic relationship for a period of time.
You have been convinced by your abuser that everything in your life revolves around them, and your feelings are nothing to take heed of.
When you eventually find the strength to walk away from your relationship, you are going to try and isolate yourself from everyone that loves you.
You will feel totally stupid for allowing what happened to you to continue for so long…
Your lack of confidence will leave you afraid of committing to a new relationship…
It is better that you take a step back and give yourself some time to heal so that when you do get into another relationship, you will be ready for it.
The problem with the low self-esteem and confidence is that it impacts on all aspects of your life, not only personal but professional as well.
You are going to have serious doubts as to the motives of anyone who may show the slightest bit of interest in you.
You’ll not only experience the trust issues with prospective partners but across the board.
You are going to feel that everyone only wants to be around you because they have something to gain.
How can you trust anyone if someone so close to you chose to emotionally abuse you?
Anger at myself
You are going to angry for allowing yourself to be treated so badly for so long.
Don’t worry about this, as it will eventually pass…
Once that anger passes, the feeling of total stupidity takes over…
Why? Why? Why?
Only when you actually take notes on what you have been through in your relationship, will you realize how blatant and continual the emotional abuse really was.
This is possibly the worst and most difficult effect of emotional abuse that I still have to work through.
After all of the craziness that my ex put me through just to get what she wanted from me, I still to this day worry about what is happening in her life.
Even though she felt nothing for me during all of our years together, I still have this almost blind loyalty to her. I want to know that she is ok…
How stupid is that?
Each and every time that she calls and asks for my help with something, I still have this urge to give it to her.
This, even though I have helped her in the past and it always opens the door to her giving me more grief, I do it anyway.
The problem is that I can’t seem to stop being there for her.
Whatever mess she makes, I am there to clean up…
Whatever chaos she creates, I am there to wipe up the consequences…
She has buried herself so deep into my mind that even though we live hundreds of miles apart, she still gets to dictate what I decide on to benefit her.
Funnily enough, when I don’t receive a call from her for a few days, I don’t even think about her.
Then I hear her voice on the phone, and suddenly I can’t seem to stop talking to talk to her even though I know what the eventual outcome of this conversation is going to be.
This is something I have to get out of my system because she is going to use the concern I still have for her to
keep on manipulating me to get what she wants from me.
You need to seek out professional help
I have realized that there is no other option other than seeking professional help.
It is great having a group of friends and family that you can talk to about your experiences, but you need to speak to someone who can help you with what you are going through, and not just to listen to your experiences.
As I have mentioned throughout his blog, the after-effects of emotional abuse are debilitating and lingering, and it is stupid to believe that you can move forward without help from anyone…